Relocated

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waste of space

I needed this article about 2 months ago ! Ok so maybe I'm a lifehack.org addict but anyway this isn`t the reason for this post.

Actually, there IS no reason for this post, I wanted to push a couple of old posts further down the page. :)

Just that being in a new country and having a break from everything is helping me think abit more clearly. I`ve had my fun, but at my very own expense. Not fun, in this case.

And I`m also coming to appreciate somethings better. It`s surprising really what you can find out when things are at their lowest.

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are

This is the First Day of the Rest of your Life

I'm standing here at the lip of a crevasse...

I fall

Keep Dreaming

"We do not stop playing because we are old ; we grow old because we stop playing..."

How many people make an effort to laugh and find humour in their everyday lives? Everyone`s been stressing so much about exams - yes I have too, I admit - but you have to take time to relax each day and enjoy what each moment brings. To take you through this tough time, you have to visualise your dream - when you lose your dreams, you die . Remember what you are striving for - what you want to be and what you want to do for people when this is finally over.

We have so many people walking around us, who are already dead but do not realise it . Never lose your hope or dreams . There is a big difference in growing older and growing up. You could be six years old, lie in bed for one full year and never do a thing, and you will turn seven . If I was 99 years old, and stayed in bed rotting I would turn a hundred. Growing old does not require any talent or ability . Everybody has to grow older. However, the idea is to grow up, and always notice little opportunities that come by your way . Live your life, don't just exist. Take risks, take chances. Enjoy each moment, have no regrets.

"People usually do not have regrets for what they did, but rather for things they did not do . The only people who fear death are those who did not live, and they are the ones who lived a life full of regrets..."

In Loving Memory

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven;
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

In Remembrance on the death anniversary of Darius - we still remember you lovingly till this day. Hopefully where you are there will be no more pain in your life.

Bits from my past

I dug up a couple of snippets from my emo past, here they are
xx

Ghostly Memories
As night falls
the shadows lengthen
the echoes deepen
my soul dreams.
in my subconscious
i remember.
i remember , i dream of
the breath of your whisper
3 words past my ear
the feel of your fingertips
running down my back
a ghost of a kiss-
an imprint on my heart.

i dont know
how it happened
you found a place in my heart
and there you'll stay...
maybe now, maybe forever...

this is you and me.
this is gone.

xx

I rock too fast for love ...
Small, simple, safe price.
Wake me up and take me away.
Carry me where fantasies take over.
You left behind a cut
This is not a small cut that dries and heals
This is a scar on my heart.
And I'm not afraid to bleed, and fight.
Love is not anything.
Especially a cutting knife.
... forever footloose in my velcro shoes

I am nobody ...
... and that is what makes me strong.


xx

Physician, Heal Thyself

Source: Lifehack - "10 ways to save yourself from messing up your life"

10 ways to save yourself from messing up your life

2. Stop being concerned about what the rest of the world says about you
* Events or people are simply events or people
* You have to be happy with yourself - people say / do silly things but these things are powerless until you choose to react against it


Indeed I have to stop letting what other people think of me affect the way I act. That's always been a particular weakness of mine I suppose, that I get too affected by what other people say/do/think. I was talking to someone today, and she was telling me about her life, and I realize just how blessed I am to have loved ones who do give a shit about whether or not I live.

I can`t please everyone (not from a lack of trying) but what I can do is just be me & learn to love myself before I can even love others in return.

=====

[insert]

"We`re our own worst enemies" has been one of my best friends` msn message for today. & I have to admit how true that is. We either set too high a goal for ourselves and consequently get disappointed when we fail to hit such ideals, or we underestimate ourselves, and find ourselves confined to a small little space in life, after which we start dreaming of touching the moon.

Is anyone surprised, really, that people go through life never knowing what they are working towards in that case? In my utopia, people would live in love & peace and never want for anything (I know how unrealistic that sounds).

====

Another disjointed sentence that I absolutely had to add

Today's Question 60 of the Exam was

When treating a patient, the paediatric Dentistry Supervisor says to a child "If you refuse to sit still I will go out with your mum for lunch now!" What prompted his question?
a. He was hungry
b. He was angry at the child and wanted lunch
c. He wanted to have a date with the patient's mum
d. He was frustrated with the undergraduate student treating the patient
e. He was trying to manage the patient's behavior


I just looked at this question and snorted (Yes, snorted). :P Which wasn't so cool, but MEH.

Live. Laugh. Love

That`s how I want to live my life.

But it seems lately that everything`s been weighing me down. There`s this constant goal that is just out of reach it seems, and I`m just short of touching it. For some reason, I feel so fucking inadequate. Don`t get me wrong, I`m still laughing and I still love everybody around me. It`s just that it seems to take its` toll on me even more in the past few weeks.

Maybe I get a little grumpy in the mornings before my morning coffee, But I usually perk right back up after that ! It seems like for the past 2 weeks I`ve been stagnating, doing the same thing over and over again. I`m just so burnt out I can`t find what`s needed in me to motivate myself. At this point, I guess all I can do is just keep trying harder and hope that will be enough.

Till then, au revoir!

x Be my phlare of light, my inspiration ! x


I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken

So Let's Talk About....

.... Dumbledore being gay.

Hmmm what exactly was the point of JK Rowling telling us Dumbledore is gay ? I mean, he got killed off in book God-knows-when, there were at least like 1000 pages before he got killed off to tell us he was gay but NO.

Instead, she tells it in a press conference, AFTER he's dead and buried and no one cares anymore.

Talk about anticlimatic huh, it's like finding out that you have to go for another blood test because they forgot to take your blood out in the previous blood test.

And totally unnecessary.

Or it's like Ella trying to get orangecakez to answer a question, which he has successfully evaded for like 2 hours now. And he'll probably answer in a week, by which time no one cares anymore (if anyone even cares now, but what the hell).

Awww :"(

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.

We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement.

I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate.

Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject.

I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness.

You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked, "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room.

A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.

As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry."

She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her.

It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.